An Audacious Holiday Poem

Dan Dunar by Dan Dunar | 12.19.2012

The Cable AUDACIOUS™

 

T’was successful Black Friday, you found your TV,

Sixty-five inches, LED-LCD.

Smooth motion picture with deep blacks and bright white,

Guaranteed to arrest both attention and sight.

 

Despite all the features at such a great price,

Those cheap built-in speakers would never suffice.

To captivate friends and to leave neighbors jealous,

You’d have to come up with something marvelous.

 

So you bought a receiver for serious sound,

Six speakers plus sub, to complete the surround.

Some others oft skimp, but you were unable.

A critical step- selecting the cable!

 

Ambushed by options, a swarm of selection,

And then you discovered the Honeywell section.

Resting on shelves packed in boxes of gold,

AUDACIOUS™ WAVEFLEX™ sound cables, a sight to behold!

 

Oxygen free bare copper conductors inside,

Impurity free paths, audio shall glide.

And as the years pass by, you shall fear not corrosion,

Shiny strands glow with no transmission erosion.

 

On surfaces do the higher frequencies ride,

High strand count conductors, AUDACIOUS does provide.

So while all the others hear muffled piano,

You’ll hear it all clearly, low bass through soprano.

 

With inherent protection from crass interference,

AUDACIOUS exhibits a cabled appearance.

Adjacent wires with a small sweeping twist,

Preserving pure signal, but white noise will resist.

 

As if it were needed on cable so chic,

An exclusive feature expands the mystique.

The unique WAVEFLEX jacket, both strong and lightweight,

Simplifies and expedites your install rate.

 

Perfectly round shape, the WAVEFLEX jacket remains

Easy to pull with far less pulling strain.

Internal ridges add great flexibility,

Weave around obstructions with supreme agility.

 

And in case you forget which cables run where,

Channel, room, and zone markings, AUDACIOUS does bear.

So you can distinguish front, rear, left, and right,

With continuity testers, you don’t need to fight.

 

Then when it’s time for final termination,

Forget about damaged conductor frustration.

Because a WAVEFLEX jacket will always strip clean,

It helps you refrain from all language obscene.

 

Should you ever worry about its longevity,

AUDACIOUS is backed by our performance guarantee.

Each box of bad cable that you come across,

We’ll send you three new ones to cover your loss.

 

Now as you unveil your home theater complete,

The most awesome system that’s rocking your street.

The speakers keep thumping, refusing to stop.

You’ll watch as the jaws of your neighbors all drop.

 

They see all the flashy and new electronics.

And marvel at those high fidelity sonics.

But snaked and concealed through the room’s studded wall.

AUDACIOUS WAVEFLEX is the backbone of it all!